Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Summer (sort of)

So the weather is, for a little while at least, approaching something approximating what one might call "summery". To that end I would like to talk to summer, and the opposite sex, and I am well aware that some of this might sound a bit creepy. If that happens I apologise, I am not the word-smith I should be after 16 years of formal education.

So first of all, I have always thought of myself as a "winter person". I don't like heat. If you are uncomfortably cold you can put on more clothes. It won't look that odd. If you are uncomfortably hot you take more clothes off - which may result in nakedness. It is not recommended on a day-to-day basis. I love the way snow can transform a familiar scene into a twinkling, blanketed fairytale paradise. Snow is fantasy. Sun is sweating and burnt skin.

Despite this I do still enjoy Summer. I have been re-assessing my status as a winter person because now I am not so sure. Winter fashions are usually way cooler (no pun intended - even if it was it wasn't a good pun). But as I say: Summer has its upsides. The upside of summer is that attractive young women up and down the land, when trying to decide what to wear, will pull a flowery dress out of the wardrobe and think "why not?" The downside is that fat, middle aged men up and down the land, when trying to decide what shirt to wear, will look at their flabby, naked torso in the mirror and think "why not?" So you get two halves. Manic pixie dream girls gliding gaily across the pavement, and guys walking down the road half naked and with their neck chain tangled up in their chest hair.

You can see why it is easier to call myself a winter person. Well that and the depression.

Another thing I have been thinking about is how for someone (sort of) young, contemporary and modern, I still think of myself as old-fashioned. I don't "do" make-up, expensive clothes or jewellery. Why does a man need these things? I really don't understand fake tanning for men and women but that's probably another topic. There are other things too, how I sometimes will see members of my own generation and regard them as "whippersnappers". I think that there are certain things that at the absolute very least have to be considered polite to the opposite sex. Not looking at a girl's arse once she has walked past you (ignoring the chauvinism) is simply the polite thing to do. I have never been so curious to find out what a particular woman's arse looks like to try the "look-over-the-shoulder" manoeuvre. I hope I never will be. I also think it is impolite to watch a woman eating a banana. I shouldn't have to explain that one, really, it just makes sense.

But other things have happened! Events, dear boy, events. I watched Schindler's List. What can you say really? Fantastic performances all round. Do I even need to bother writing more about it, when so much has already been said? There was Robin Hood, too. First (just to get it out of the way), Russel Crowe's accent is a mess. I have no idea where he is supposed to be from, it seems to change from scene to scene. It was decent multiplex-fodder, but don't expect much more. Some (unintentional) highlights were Robin Hood and Maid Marion's "funny banter", Robin coming roaring out of the water and Robin's "OMGHAX!!!11" trickshot-headshot. I also watched The Road, which is a pretty decent post-apocalyptic thriller about a father and son's travels across a ravaged America.

I bought Some Cities, by Doves. I have this thing about having three albums by the same band that I love (not like, love). So far only The Bees had managed it. Doves have also managed it. I also bought LCD Soundsystem's new album. Welcome to the "Three-Album-Love-Club", Mr. Murphy. I'm not making too much headway with my "Albums I Need To Buy" list but then again there are so many albums to get. Animal Collective's back catalogue. The other two Walkmen albums. The rest of The Smiths back catalogue. Death Cab for Cutie. Blur's back catalogue. The other Decemberists albums. The new Errors album. So much music, so little time.

But on the bright side I have Foals' new album. Ah. May. Zing. I am loving the hippity-hop influenced "Miami" but the whole album's a gem. I'm not sure what albums I'll be getting next, or the next films I'll be watching. Not that I have a super-hectic schedule but long films can be a problem when you get home from work at 7:00 and albums aren't best listened to on a noisy Tube train. Especially when your good, noise cancelling ear phones are broken. AAAH! Anyway.

I am going to Wembley on Sunday. Not to play, of course. Me and my dad are going to see Dagenham and Redbridge play Rotherham in the League 2 Play-Off Final. And our post man is going too, because I just found out today he is The Dagger's mascot (or rather the man in the suit), Digger the Dog. Apparently. Laytaz.

No comments:

Post a Comment