Monday, 20 June 2011

Facial Kerplunk

So I thought I might as well post another part from my "diary of crazy". This one isn't at all political, but is still something I am passionate about.

"People Who Shouldn't Be Allowed to Enjoy Music Concerts

  • • Anyone who throws drinks around.

  • • Anyone who takes their top off.

  • • Anyone who arrives in any kind of costume.

  • • Anyone who brings props.

  • • Anyone who crowd surfs.

  • • Anyone who starts a mosh pit and then gets offended when people push back.

  • • Anyone who starts a mosh pit just so they can have a fight.

  • • Anyone who starts a mosh pit.

  • • Anyone who heckles the performers.

  • • Anyone who demands huge amount of space for their dancing/dreadlocks (usually its both).

  • • Anyone who bring their kids (except festivals) or their parents (ever).

  • • Anyone who the surrounding people decides are too old/hairy/much of a dick head.

  • • Anyone who is too drunk to stand up.

  • • Anyone who is too drunk to actually enjoy the concert.

  • • Anyone who is too drunk.

  • • Anyone who takes about six full pints of beer right to the front of the crowd just before the main act comes on stage - you will be jostled.

  • • Any couples who decide to have a sloppy snog-a-thon right in the middle of the crowd. Your love is great and all but it is currently dribbling down my shoulder.

  • • All those people who go without saying.
  • "

    The piece ends abruptly with the following quote on the next page:

    "I'm not trying to ban fun. Just tightly regulate it."

    Well it made me laugh at any rate.

    Saturday, 11 June 2011

    Old Political Ramblings #1

    I recently found a bunch of writing that I did whilst on my placement year. A lot of it was written on the train, it is mostly incoherent and unfocused. It is also very socialist. All of them were written when the recession was at its hardest, when bankers' bonuses were a top news story. Still, I have decided to type up some of the writings, because it is the kind of nonsensical pap you people are used to hearing from me.

    The first is about banks, naturally.

    "I am convinced nobody knows everything about economy and finance. How could they? There are too many variables. Representing economy and finance in terms of figures and graphs is like trying to represent the universe in felt.

    It is ridiculously complicated to even open a bank account: which kind of account, which bank, what kind of card, etc. And there is no transparency at all. You have no idea where your money actually is. Can't someone make banking open source?

    Surely all most people use bank accounts for are convenient transfer of funds, cash withdrawals and somewhere secure to store their money. But we appear to be paying a very high price for convenience."

    This is a piece about religion. It probably reads a little more controversially than I intended.

    "I do not like to believe religion deliberately oppresses its followers. Religion was a mechanism used in the past to assert authority or enforce morality. Now we have government, education, prisons, courts, etc. Religion no longer seems relevant. But alas, it prevails. As does its nonsensical beliefs. `Don't eat pork` made sense when food could not be safely stored and cooked, and medicine was in its infancy. This is no longer an issue.

    However, as it should be obvious to anyone, that is the most minor of issues. Abortion is the issue that most accurately displays the disparity between religious edicts and modern wisdom. The woman's right to choose to have an abortion is fundamental for any civilised society. And yet religion calls it murder. This kind of backwards-thinking can only hold a progressive society back."

    Those are the two least crazy-sounding one's. I will post more when I get the chance.