Monday, 20 June 2011

Facial Kerplunk

So I thought I might as well post another part from my "diary of crazy". This one isn't at all political, but is still something I am passionate about.

"People Who Shouldn't Be Allowed to Enjoy Music Concerts

  • • Anyone who throws drinks around.

  • • Anyone who takes their top off.

  • • Anyone who arrives in any kind of costume.

  • • Anyone who brings props.

  • • Anyone who crowd surfs.

  • • Anyone who starts a mosh pit and then gets offended when people push back.

  • • Anyone who starts a mosh pit just so they can have a fight.

  • • Anyone who starts a mosh pit.

  • • Anyone who heckles the performers.

  • • Anyone who demands huge amount of space for their dancing/dreadlocks (usually its both).

  • • Anyone who bring their kids (except festivals) or their parents (ever).

  • • Anyone who the surrounding people decides are too old/hairy/much of a dick head.

  • • Anyone who is too drunk to stand up.

  • • Anyone who is too drunk to actually enjoy the concert.

  • • Anyone who is too drunk.

  • • Anyone who takes about six full pints of beer right to the front of the crowd just before the main act comes on stage - you will be jostled.

  • • Any couples who decide to have a sloppy snog-a-thon right in the middle of the crowd. Your love is great and all but it is currently dribbling down my shoulder.

  • • All those people who go without saying.
  • "

    The piece ends abruptly with the following quote on the next page:

    "I'm not trying to ban fun. Just tightly regulate it."

    Well it made me laugh at any rate.

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